


Message Man

by The_Silent_Writer



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Other, Post-Game, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sleepless nights, Texting, bros to lovers eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 20:01:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7188068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Silent_Writer/pseuds/The_Silent_Writer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris is having a hard time coping after the Mountain Incident and he's not sure if texts from his "declared dead" best friend are helping. Confusion and longing ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Call and Response

It started with a text.

        **From: 0280652  
**

       _I’m so sorry Cochise_

Make that two.

        **From: 0280652  
**

        _I didn’t think it would go down like that_

Was there a name for the emotion Chris was feeling at the moment? He didn’t think so. No one word could accurately describe how confused, shocked, relieved, and irate he was.

Could he trust the unknown person in his hand? Was it alright for him to think this was Josh? Or was this just some asshole fucking with him? He needed to know for sure then, maybe, sleep would return to him.

        **To: 0280652  
**

        _Who is this?_

It wasn’t eloquent, but it got the point across. And that’s all he really needed.

        **From: 0280652  
**

        _It’s Josh_

_Long time no text bro_

Shit, shit, shit. This couldn’t be real. There was no way this was real! Josh couldn’t be texting him! Josh was –

        **To: 0280652  
**

        _You’re missing. The police said you were officially declared dead last fucking week._

Three months had passed in fruitless searching for Josh on the Mountain. Josh’s parents had lost hope by two months. They couldn’t have their hearts torn to shreds again. But Chris just couldn’t give up. Whether it be from worry or guilt or some other form of self-deprecation, Chris refused to let the search parties disband. Josh couldn’t be dead. Josh deserved better than to be abandoned on a lonely mountain. But soon after the three month mark, Mr. and Mrs. Washington took Chris aside and told him it was time. Time to stop. Time to give up the ghost of his best friend.

        **From: 0280652  
**

        _This awesome old man found me wandering around in the mines_

_So… SURPRISE I guess???_

Surprise?

        **To: 0280652  
**

        _SURPRISE?! JOSH WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR THREE MONTHS! I WENT BACK TO THAT STUPID MONSTER-INFESTED SNOW HILL TO SEARCH FOR YOU! FOR THREE. FUCKING. MONTHS. AND ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY IS SURPRISE?! I’VE BEEN MOURNING YOU YOU ASSWIPE! I WENT TO YOUR FUCKING FUNERAL!THEY PUT A GODDAMNED EMPTY CASKET IN THE GROUND! YOU CAN’T TELL ME YOU DON’T KNOW HOW SHIT THAT FEELS JOSH AND YOU’VE WAITED FOR SO FUCKING LONG TO SAY SURPRISE?! WHAT THE FUCK?!_

The reply was immediate.

        **From: 0280652  
**

        _Sorry_

Dammit. Chris had said too much. It had felt good typing his frustrations out, but now it was coming back to bite him in the ass. He had gone too far. Hannah and Beth shouldn’t have been brought into this, no matter how roundabout their mention had been.

Before he could type an apology, another text came.

        **From: 0280652  
**

        _I thought you’d be happy to know I was okay. Sorry. I should’ve thought this out. I’m sorry Cochise_

Drip.

Chris wiped his eyes, his hand coming back wet. Shit. When had he started crying?! He touched his cheeks, looked down – his shirt was soaked with a spattering of wet patches. His breath hitched before he could do anything and that was it. He lost himself for several minutes sobbing – too overwhelmed with such strong emotions to do anything else. Josh was alive and Chris was so ecstatic, so grateful that he hadn’t lost his best friend again.

He tried to make sure he didn’t come off like he usually did (i.e. an idiot) with his reply.

        **To: 0280652  
**

        _YOU IDIOT OF COURSE I’M HAPPY SO HAPPY YOU HAVE ME BAWLING ON MY BED AND SPOONING A PILLOW BRO JOSH I’M SO FUCKING GLAD YOU’RE OKAY YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW_

Good job, Fleiss.

        **From: 0280652  
**

        _Haha damn Cochise I didn’t think you’d react like that_

Uh oh. Chris knew the feeling beginning to stir in his gut. Josh was going into a “low”. He wanted to try and cheer Josh up if he could, but that was hard to do through texts. Josh had always been prone to having lows, but they became more severe when he thought about his sisters or when someone showed him true affection. He doubted everyone, typically for good reason, but when it was Chris or Sam his doubt ran at his highest.

Josh had told him once, during an anxiety attack, that he thought Chris and Sam should just leave him behind. That they were too good to be held down by someone like him. “I’m so fucked up, Cochise,” he’d said. He thought he was too broken to be considered anything other than a psycho. “Sometimes I just hate when you guys praise me or care about me because I know I don’t deserve something like that,” he’d sobbed into Chris’ shoulder, “I just don’t get it!”

But Josh did deserve it. And so much more, in Chris’ opinion. Josh was a sweet, beautiful young man with soulful eyes that held all of his burdens and fears behind a mesmerizing shade of blue-gray.

So Chris had stopped showing his affection through speech. Instead he showed it through gestures: good night and check-up texts, pizza in the late hours of the night when Josh couldn’t sleep, letting Josh use him as a pillow when he finally could.

        **To: 0280652  
**

        _You know if it’d been you you’d be just as psyched to get a text from me saying ‘sup mr. Joshington’._

        **From: 0280652  
**

        _Yeah true. But I would’ve been out the door driving up by now_

Chris smiled into his pillow. He’d give Josh that.

        **To: 0280652  
**

        _Granted but my limbs are too jelly to move right now. Bright and early tomorrow morning, I’m coming to take you home!_

He was already starting to doze off, his eyelids heavy and drooping. He’d been on a rollarcoaster of emotions for the past forty-five minutes. His brain wanted a break.

Josh’s next text read:

        **From: 0280652  
**

        _You can’t Cochise. Don’t come up here_

That made Chris sit up straight in a second.

      **To: 0280652  
**

        _What do you mean don’t come up here? You want to come home right?_

What could Josh be thinking?! Anyone would want to return home after being trapped in a mine and stuck on a freezing mountain top for three months.

        **From: 0280652  
**

        _I mean yeah but not right now?_

        **To: 0280652  
**

        _That’s a ‘no’ to most people Josh. What’s wrong? Are you in danger? You’re safe right?? I know awesome old man is awesome, but everyone has off days. You are okay, right??_

        **From: 0280652  
**

        _I’m fine geez mom_

_Victor (the awesome old man) has been teaching me how to trap those things_

_The wendigoes_

       **To: 0280652  
**

        _I’m driving up tomorrow. You’re not doing that._

        **From: 0280652  
**

        _No Cochise. It’s not safe here right now_

        **To: 0280652  
**

        _Then why are you choosing to stay up there?!_

        **From: 0280652  
**

       _Because I need to. I need to figure out somethings before I come back_

Chris growled at his phone. Why was Josh so stubborn sometimes?!

        **To: 0280652  
**

       _I get that you need to work through some stuff Josh. I really do. But why can’t you do it at home where you’ll be safe?_

        **From: 0280652  
**

        _Because Hannah’s not at home_

Shit. She was still alive? How? The house went down in flames. Every wendigo in the place should have burnt with it.

        **To: 0280652  
**

        _Then that’s even more of a reason, Josh!_

_Mike told us what happened_

_She took you Josh!_

_Please bro? Can you just do this for me?_

        **From: 0280652  
**

        _I’m sorry Cochise, I can’t yet. And you can’t come here. I should have never brought you or Sam or anyone up here again_

Chris didn’t know what to say. Aside from when Josh first texted him, the Mountain Incident hadn’t actually been brought to the forefront of conversation. Chris didn’t want to think about it. Sure, he had been terrified out of his mind and his life had been in danger, but when he thought he had ripped his best friend in half with a saw blade… something inside him had snapped. He had broken something in his mind and he feared nothing could put it back together.

The buzzing of his phone called him back from the depths of the rabbit hole.

        **From: 0280652  
**

        _Look, I’ll text you again soon okay? I’ve got to get ready for the day. Pretty please don’t tell anyone about this? About me?_

_Especially Sam??_

It was three in the morning. Since when could Josh-fucking-Washington function properly before noon? Or was he having the same problem as Chris: where sleep was rarer than catching a legendary with a Regular Pokeball?

        **To: 0280652  
**

        _What wait Josh!_

_Don’t leave yet bro wtf_

_Why can’t I tell anyone?_

_Josh?_

_JOSH_

_… dammit, Josh, just please be careful okay? Promise?_

        **From: 0280652  
**

        _Promise, Cochise_

Chris watched his phone like a hawk for the next half hour. Waiting – hoping Josh would say something again. But by 5 a.m. Chris had given up, deciding a nice long, hot shower might be a nice idea to relieve some of his stress and clean himself up after all of the crying he had done.

He waited. For a text, an emoji, anything.

But he wouldn’t get a text from Josh for another month.

 


	2. Of Dark Rooms and Donuts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris has a bad night and Sam comes over to commiserate with coffee and donuts.

The sleepless nights continued. Only this time, a small hope that a text would be sent his way made the images of saw blades, teeth, and hell-fires behind his eyelids just a little more bearable.

The night of April 16th had been particularly bad. Chris woke up convinced that Hannah was going to kill him for trying to take Josh away from Mt. Washington. Even after he had regained his bearings and the lights had been turned on, the feel of phantom claws still dug into his gut, ripping him apart piece-by-piece. He could hear her delighted screech echoing in his ears as she relished in Chris’ pain the more she tore him to shreds.

He wouldn’t be going into his room for three days after that.

Chris was getting worse, a part of him knew that. But he was fine. He had to be fine because he told himself he was and that’s how he would stay.

Even if he _did_ admit that he needed to seek professional help, what could he do? Sessions costed money, meds even more. For a lower-middle class university student, the expenses would be too much.

The police had provided them all with complimentary weekly counseling sessions for five weeks. Three of those Chris had missed in favor of searching for Josh. The other two he had attended but avoided talking about the Incident like the plague, so those had been busts.

The university provided counseling services too, but those made Chris more uncomfortable than the police ones. One wrong slip of the tongue and the counselors could deem him a hazard to himself or others and kick him out of school.

That just couldn’t be an option.

Classes were the only thing that really kept him grounded nowadays. They gave him something to do during the day and kept him distracted when his thoughts and imagination became too much at night.

There were some times though, where not even his code or books or games could keep the offal in his mind at bay. When those showed up, he called Sam.

April 16th had been one of those times.

**To: Samalam**

_You awake, Sammie?_

**From: Samalam**

_Yep. Can’t sleep either?_

**To: Samalam**

_Yep. Had some funky dreams._

He never went into detail about his problems. He knew Sam was working through her own shit and he wasn’t about to unload his on top of that, especially if the twins were involved. Just having her be there was enough.

**From: Samalam**

_I can sneak out and come over if you want??_

**To: Samalam**

_Pretty please i love you???!???!?!_

She sent a picture of her giving a thumbs-up with one leg already out of her window. _I’ll bring the donuts if you brew the coffee??_ the description read.

**To: Samalam**

_Yes ma’am!!! d(￣◇￣)b_

Chris moved slowly through his apartment. His usual self would be frantically dashing to the kitchen to start setting up the maker for the nice, fancy brand of coffee he kept for guests. It was too bad anxiety and fear of sleep had made him drink nearly every drop of coffee in the place before he just gave up and bought the cheap shit in bulk. In the case of caffeine, he figured quantity won over quality.

Now he merely shuffled to his little kitchen to put on the water, scooping the off-brand grounds into the maker.

At least he still had Sam’s favorite creamer in the fridge.

He leaned against the small counter, the wood gently digging into his lower back. Sighing, he let his mind wander as the soft hissing of the coffee maker came to life. He really should take a shower. It’s been a couple of days. But showering meant he needed cleaner clothes than the ones already on his back. And cleaner clothes were in his bedroom.

Chris dragged his eyes over to his open bedroom door.

“…” He stared in utter silence for what seemed like hours, the dripping of steeped coffee the only thing to fill the void.

The clothes he was wearing now didn’t smell _that_ bad yet. It’d be fine.

He shot a quick text to Sam, telling her to come on in when she got there, then hopped in the shower. Even with the cleansing of earth-smelling soap and feverish water, Chris’ skin still crawled knowing that just through one layer of wall Hannah was waiting for him, lurking in the shadows of his room. He could already smell his own blood.

“Chriiiis?” Sam’s voice called from the living room.

He was grateful for the distraction before he could lose himself too much. He shut the water off and stepped out of the shower, a puddle forming at his feet as he toweled off quickly.

“One sec, Sammie!” he replied, replacing his towel on the rack. He fussed with his hair longer than he would have admitted to, the length starting to make it curl and unruly. When he picked his clothes up from the counter, he got a good whiff of what they _actually_ smelt like.

Shit. He was going to have to go into his room wasn’t he?

… nah, nothing a little Febreze couldn’t fix.

“Coffee done yet?” he asked as he padded out into the living room.

Sam hummed a sound of assent, her lips wrapped around the rim of her “Nobody knows I’m a Lesbian” mug.

“Niiiice.” Chris flopped down next to her, forgoing coffee for the moment to grab a donut from the already-open box. His first bite nearly had him moaning – they were still hot and fresh.

Sam laughed at his reaction. “Perks of becoming an insomniac: we get the good donuts.”

“Twue dat!” Chris whooped around the bite in his mouth.

A lull in conversation hovered between them shortly after. It was odd how the people who could help and listen to others at the drop of a hat had the hardest time speaking about what was on their own minds.

Sam’s dark chuckle nudged Chris out of his own thoughts.

“It’s crazy, you now? That three-fifths of our make-shift family are just _gone_.” She stared down at her drink, watching as the whorls of steam swirled and floated away. “Just over a year ago we’d all have been on your couch or in the Washington Rec Room just – chilling. Having fun and drinking soda and eating popcorn while he watched trashy movies… Now it’s us sipping on coffee so we don’t fall asleep and dream about what went down on the Mountain.”

She definitely had a point. Chris missed late nights with the Washington siblings too. They complimented Chris and Sam so perfectly that not having them there was like missing a piece of themselves.

Chris’ stomach did a somersault. Josh was still there. He was _alive_. But how could he just spring that information on Sam? What would she say if he told her Josh was still up on the mountain? It’d probably be a replay of how Chris reacted: anger, confusion, relief, elation. The frustration of wanting to bring Josh home but not having the capability to change Josh’s mind. Though, if it were Sam, Josh might actually listen.

The thought left a sour taste in his mouth, but his heart sinking trumped everything. Josh had pleaded with him to not tell anyone, especially Sam, about his miraculous reappearance. Sam would be pissed – so fucking pissed – that Chris hadn’t told her but he didn’t want to disappoint Josh. Not again.

“Yeah…” he sighed, scratching the back of his head. “I feel that.” He laughed to himself. “Sometimes I’ll catch myself yelling to Josh from the other side of the apartment and just…” he shrugged. “It’s definitely a weird feeling.”

“Heh heh, yeah. I’ve rolled over in bed a few times thinking Beth’ll be there or watching an episode of Supernats and start saying something to Han… And now Josh and just… this sucks, Chris.” Her voice tapered off at the end, wavering as tears sprung to the corners of her eyes.

Chris immediately wrapped her up in his long arms. It was rare that Sam let herself be this vulnerable around others. She was the pillar in their group: always prioritizing everyone else’s well-being before her own. Even at the twins’ funeral, she had stood in the front row with shimmering eyes but a face of stone. She needed to be strong for her own sake sometimes too, otherwise she would crumble.

She returned the gesture, her face buried in the crook of Chris’ neck.

Chris wasn’t sure how long they staid like that, but when Sam pulled away she was looking a lot better.

“Thanks, Chris,” she sniffled.

“Anytime, Sammie.”

Sam jumped up from the couch, making her way over to the cabinet by the little TV. After some shuffling, Sam pulled out the entire Harry Potter movie collection and presented it to Chris. “Up for a marathon?”

“Only if we watch The Lord of the Rings and Hobbit trilogies after.” He smirked, already starting to brew another pot of coffee.

Sam’s grin could rival the Cheshire Cat’s. “You know it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I return this time with Sam in tow and I promise next chapter will have more Josh.
> 
> Tell me what you think about the new chapter or just fan-out with me about Until Dawn! I thrive on comments!
> 
> Until next time, stay beautiful. <3


	3. Colours of the W(i)ndigo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris joins the gang for a Disney night and has a heart-to-heart with a certain red-head.

The shrill ping of his phone jolted Chris from his nap. He had found a rare moment of dreamless sleep between his last class for the day and his shift at work – which had just been interrupted by whoever thought Chris wanted to ever be social.

Whoever it was could wait.

He slinked out of bed and slowly made his way to the kitchen.

“Damn,” he mumbled to himself. He was out of coffee. He’d have to make a trip to the grocery store after work.

After poking around in his fridge, he found one lonely Venom hiding in the back. Em must have left it there the other day.

There were two things Em kept hidden from the public: one, she was a sucker for energy drinks and two, she was just as big a fangirl as Sam and Chris were.

Three weeks had passed since Sam came over. Chris had texted Em at a decent hour of the morning to see if she wanted to join them for their movie marathon. Emily had immediately replied with “be there in 30”.

She arrived in 15 with a shopping bag full of Monster, Venom, and ingredients for a real meal.

His stomach growled just thinking about it.

For now he would make do with a grilled cheese.

Chris stretched out the kinks in his back, glancing at the clock on the microwave.

“Shit,” he breathed.

Make that a PB&J.

In a flurry of movements he threw together his little dinner and all but flew out of his apartment.

 

All through his shift Chris kept a sliver of pride for himself, amazed at how well he’d slept. It had been actual months now since he’d had a nap or sleep that he had woken feeling rested from. True, his stupid phone startled him awake this time, but up until that point it had been Grade-A.

He worked through his shift with ease and without the constant yawning or fear that he may lose his sanity while whipping up a venti caramel latte.

Chris could honestly say he felt “good”.

He made sure to savor it.

 

His pocket buzzed at him a quarter after 11. Chris had finished closing up the shop and was about to make his way home for the night. Work had (thankfully) been uneventful and Chris was hopeful that he could get in another good nap before he thought about anything else.

When he answered his droning phone, he could immediately tell that wouldn’t be the case.

“Hey, Chris!!” Jess’ voice came through. She was raising her voice over what sounded like the _Savages_ song from Pocahontas. He could feel the rant about racial slurs Sam wanted to make through the phone. “We’re having a movie night over at Matt’s. You’re coming, right?”

Chris checked his watch. It was late. Really late, all things considered. He really should head back to his apartment and try to catch some more Z’s.

He looked left.

The little strip of road was empty, patrons and employees alike having already gone home after their long shifts.

Left was home. Left was the potential for sleep.

Jess must have sensed his hesitation because she added a sweet “Pretty pleeeeaaaase?” to her inquiry.

Chris sighed, rubbing his stubbled face with his free hand.

Left was home. Left was the potential for sleep.

But Chris went right anyway.

 

The sounds of Pocahontas greeted him at the door before Jess could.

“Hey, Chris!” she cheered, ushering Chris in with a tug of his arm.

The group, sure enough, was blasting the current movie and singing along with various levels of well-tuned harmony.

Chris couldn’t help but laugh. He was glad the gang was looking better. Two months ago it would have taken a miracle to get everyone in the same room. It was good to see everyone together – just enjoying themselves.

He wished he felt as good as they were acting.

Oh well. “Fake it ‘til you make it”, as someone once said.

“DO YOU EVER HEAR THE WOLF CRYYYY” Chris wailed, trying to sound as horrible as humanly possible.

The living room crew greeted him with various phrases. “Chris!” “Hey, man!” “How was work?”

“Hey, squad,” he replied, “Work was work, so can’t complain. What about you guys? Classes were fun as always, I presume.” That was one downside to being a computer science major. He worked day after day in a little two-story building hidden away from the rest of campus. Seeing people outside his field was rare unless he got lunch from the canteen. But who actually had the money for that?

Everyone groaned in unison. Classes, of course, were monotonous. The added bonus now being pity stares from professors and peers that made them want to pull their hair out.

Chris chuckled, making a seat for himself next to Matt and Mike, letting the girls have the other sofa to themselves.

A lot had happened to the dynamic of their group in the past few months. For one, no one was officially a couple anymore. All seven of them were bachelors and bachelorettes trying to figure themselves out again without the hassle a relationship would add to the mix.

For the longest time, Chris thought that getting everyone to sit in the same room together would be damn near impossible. Friendships had been frayed to their thinnest forms once they were safe and hundreds of miles away from Mt. Washington. The police had even needed to break Em away from Mike and Ashley at one point. But here they all were now, watching Disney movies with bright eyes and wide smiles because they needed each other – that they were the only ones who could ever understand what they had been through.

“Here, man,” Mike whispered, handing Chris a chilled beer from the small, Styrofoam cooler on the coffee table. “You look like you had a long shift.”

Chris took it gratefully, saying his thanks and pretending he didn’t notice the linger of Mike’s fingers on his.

That was something to analyze at a later date.

Or never, if Chris had his way.

His phone buzzed again and he excused himself to the bathroom. It had to be someone from work or school, since the squad was all accounted for, and if he needed to call them they probably wouldn’t appreciate the epic romance of Pocahontas and John Smith blasting out their eardrums.

His eyes widened when he saw his notifications: 9 New Messages

**From: 0280652  
**

_Hey Cochise._

_You there?_

_Chris???_

_Where are you? What kind of cs major doesn’t have his phone on him?!_

_Not you so where are you?!_

_oh_

_Oh shit. You’re at work aren’t you?_

_Shit i’m sorry Cochise. Forget I texted._

The most recent text was from that same number, but a five hour gap laid between them.

**From: 0280652**

_How was work?_

Chris felt his heart twisting in his chest. Shit. It was real. It had all happened. It had _actually_ happened. Josh was texting him because Josh was _alive_.

Before he did anything else, he locked the bathroom door. After that he let his legs turn to jelly and proceeded to make a home for himself on Matt’s bathroom floor. Chris had been worrying for weeks that maybe he had finally – _actually_ – lost it. He wondered if Josh had really texted him or if it had all been in his head. But this proved it, right? Josh was texting him – had been texting him all evening – and Chris just needed a minute to take it all in again.

**To: 0280652  
**

_Yeah_

_I mean_

_Hey Josh :)_

**From: 0280652  
**

_Hey Cochise :)_

Chris’ smile wavered when he saw the tear drops splash onto his screen. Dammit. He really hoped waterworks wouldn’t be a thing every time Josh decided to text randomly a friggin’ month later.

**From: 0280652  
**

_So work was fun I take it_

**To: 0280652  
**

_Pfft you’d think I’d be 1000% done with coffee by now._

**From: 0280652  
**

_Not my Cochise! I still don’t know how you stomach that shit black man_

“My Cochise”: another thing that Chris would box up and think about at another time.

**To: 0280652  
**

_Your Cochise is a fucking badass, that’s why!_

_What the actual FUCK Chris?!_ he nearly screamed, mentally attacking himself for not stopping his fingers and his fingers for not listening to his brain. _Way to just put that aside! Let’s just throw it out in the middle of the room like a fucking strobe light why don’t we!!_ With a defeated sigh he let his head fall back on the bathroom door with a dull ‘thud’.

He felt his hand vibrate and nearly shuddered. He didn’t think he was ready for a reply.

**From: 0280652  
**

_I can’t deny that, man_

_You were pretty badass_

Thank you, Mr. Washington for not calling attention to Chris’ fuck up.

**From: 0280652  
**

_I found out what you did up here._

_It was definitely badass._

_And thank you._

Something about this turn of the atmosphere was making Chris sober up from his middle-school-crush-mode quickly.

**To: 0280652  
**

_For what?_

**From: 0280652  
**

_I saw…_

_From the camera feeds._

_You shouldn’t have tried to look for me, Chris._

_Both times._

_But thank you._

Wow. Chris wasn’t sure what surprised him more: the fact that camera footage survived the wreckage or the fact that Josh sifted through the ashes of his burned-to-the-ground vacation house by himself. What didn’t surprise him was how easily he wrote his reply.

**To: 0280652  
**

_Josh, of course I tried. You’re my best friend. I could never leave you alone like that._

_I’d do anything for you!_

**From: 0280652  
**

_:)_

_Thanks Cochise_

**To: 0280652  
**

_Anytime, bro_

Communication lulled after that; with Josh not sending a reply and Chris at a loss for words, Chris decided he could join the group of nerds wailing the lyrics of _Do you wanna build a snowman?_

With a quick glance at the mirror to make sure he didn’t look like he had just been crying (again), he burst out of the bathroom screaming “GO AWAY ANNA!”

The squad turned to look at him, every face at varying levels of amusement and pseudo-pouts. “Okay, byyyye…”

Chris burst out laughing, plopping down in between Matt and Mike again. His face scrunched up as he took a sip of luke-warm beer. Geez, exactly how long had he been gone?

“Everything cool, Chris?” Matt whispered under the voices of characters on screen.

Chris’ stomach flipped; he really did hate lying to his friends. “Yeah, just a classmate asking how to answer a homework question.”

_Sorry-not-sorry for using you as an excuse, Ollie._

Matt hummed, easily getting sucked back into the movie.

Of course Mike had other plans.

With the fakest yawn Chris had ever witnessed, the guy stretched and placed his arm over Chris’ shoulders. Shit, well, now what? No one – not even Matt – made any indication that they had just seen Mike copping a feel. For the sake of the group, Chris just _let it go_.

 _He’s not hurting anyone_ , he reasoned, _besides, he’s really warm_.

Like a cat basking in the sunlight, Chris was out in a matter of seconds.

 

Chris woke up proud. Having slept peacefully two-out-of-two times was a fete in and of itself. Another Disney movie was playing softly, like white noise for the group of seven.

The girls were cuddled together, blankets wrapped around them to make a snuggly cocoon. Jess held onto Em’s hoodie sleeve like a vice.

Out of everyone that had made up in the last few months, Chris was the most relieved about Em and Jess. He remembered when he went with Em to visit Jess in the hospital. She was terrified Jess wouldn’t want to see her when all Em wanted to do was apologize for how _Em_ she could be sometimes. Of course, she never got to say as much out loud because the moment she saw Jess’ bruised eyes light up when they entered the room her tears said everything they needed to.

Sam and Ashley were on the bottom of the cuddle pile, sleeping just as soundly as the others.

For the guys’ part, Matt got the better end of the deal. He was stretched out at the other end of the couch, legs tangled with Chris and Mike’s. Chris turned a little bit, trying to see how Mike had ended up only to realize a pair of arms were holding him in place.

Shit. He was going to have to have a talk with Mike, wasn’t he? Chris wasn’t ready. He didn’t think he’d ever be ready to divulge any heavy shit in his life any time soon, but knowing his luck it would happen in the next five minutes.

Before he could think too deeply, he made to sneak away from the couch and Mike’s bear hug of a grip. After ten minutes of pure terror that he might wake someone up, he was finally able to tip-toe out onto the small balcony for some fresh air.

The warm breeze was a nice change from the cool nights. Spring had finally come, but for a city in northern California it meant nothing. The chilling rain and freezing wind never seemed to let up. Poor Christopher hardly left his apartment with anything less than three layers on.

 _Maybe I should just move to Florida?_ He thought to himself, hugging his jacket closer to his person. _I’d be surrounded by old people and sand, but at least I’d be warm and spring breaks would be fun to watch._

He dug out his phone from his pocket to check the time. 4:31. _Not bad, Fleiss_. He mentally patted himself on the back. Another three hours under his belt felt nice, like maybe things were getting better.

He hoped so.

With a wide-awake mind and not wanting to wake everyone up, Chris opted to fiddle with his phone. He always started with his pictures – memories forever captured as pixels that he could look back on with a fond nostalgia and reassurance that everything was okay.

The most recent one made him chuckle: Sam and Em making duck-faces while Chris was putting away leftovers in the background.

He kept scrolling through the reel and nearly dropped his phone when a rogue thumb-poke had a picture of him and Josh going full screen. It was an older picture, taken nearly a year before the disappearance of the twins. Someone else must have taken it, since the both of them were passed out on Josh’s bed. Chris blushed, embarrassed that one, he forgot about the picture on his phone and two, that he no recollection of that night’s events after his sixth shot. All he had to remember it was this picture and a searing headache the next morning. The next morning… That had been nice, Chris would allow himself to secretly admit – his and Josh’s legs tangled together and his arms wrapped around Josh so gently…

Ashley wouldn’t talk to him for a week after that. To make things worse, Josh had avoided his gaze like the plague.

“…”

He sighed. Chris really wished that they could all go back to being stupid teens again. Go back to a time where monsters were just something on a silver screen.

But they couldn’t.

Here he was sulking on his friend’s balcony – fragile, split between strict logic and harsh reality. He didn’t want to believe what he had seen, but the glowing, milky eyes in his nightmares made it really fucking hard not to. And yet Josh was still up there _wanting_ to be near them.

Josh… Maybe he should text him and see how he’s doing. Should he text him? Would that come off as weird? Their conversation had just fizzled out earlier, what would he even say? Would Josh be mad if he texted him? Probably not, but what if doing so triggered some sort of wendigo attack? What if Josh just didn’t want to talk to him anymore? It’d make sense, wouldn’t it? That’s why he didn’t want Chris to come up and bring him home. Josh was still angry about the prank from two years ago. That had to be it.

_Of course he is who wouldn’t be?! God if only I hadn’t gotten shitfaced. I was so stupid I could’ve done something but instead I was just passed out on the fucking counter – I SHOULD’VE DONE SOMETHING – fuck I’m such a piece of shit no wonder Josh doesn’t want to see me. I wouldn’t want to see me fuck fuck fuck –  
_

“Chris? You out here?” A soft voice inquired from just inside the apartment.

Chris felt his heart leap into his throat. In a series of fake yawns and eye rubs, he cleaned himself up and gave himself a fairly believable excuse. “Y-Yeah. What’s up, Ash?”

“Couldn’t sleep?” She asked, ducking out onto the balcony to join him.

He hummed. “More like I woke up in a chokehold and thought I’d quit while was ahead.”

Ashley giggled. “Yeah, you were out pretty quick and Mike defs took that as his cue.”

“Yeah…” Chris wasn’t sure if relationships were a sore subject for them to touch on. Before the Mountain Incident, the whole group was sure they were going to get married if they could ever actually talk to each other about their feelings. But of course, complications always lie just beneath the surface of the simplest things.

They had thought what they felt was romantic. For months they tiptoed around each other with dorky flirts and late night “see you at school tomorrow” texts. But it all fell apart on the night the picture of him and Josh was taken. When they finally talked a week later, something was different. Ashley had seen the truth and Chris could no longer hide, but true to both of their forms, they never spoke of it.

Of course Chris always had to open his big mouth.

“Hey, Ash?”

“Yeah, Chris?”

It was always best to do it like a Band-Aid, right? Rip the fucker off and the sooner you were back to normal.

“I’m sorry… for a lot of things. And – And if whatever I’m about to say upsets you or makes you uncomfortable please don’t hesitate to stop me because I am a mess that doesn’t know when or how to stop, okay?”

He chanced a glance to his left and couldn’t help but catch his breath. Even after everything that had happened in the last few years, Chris was still floored by how beautiful Ashley was. The way the blue light of the moon silhouetted her face and made her shine was enchanting. His heart fluttered every time – even now – but that spark that told him _yes, this is it_ had never happened.

Only once.

And all that got him was through the roof anxiety to last a lifetime.

“I…” he started. For a rambler, the hardest thing was to actually get the ball rolling. “I’m sorry, Ashley. I should’ve done a lot of things differently the past couple of years and some things I should have just – _not_. And I’m so sorry if it ever felt like I was dragging you around. Mentally, emotionally, physically – any way that may have definitely hurt you, I swear I never meant to hurt you, I swear and I want to make sure I never do anything like that again. You’re so important to me, Ash, an-and I don’t ever want to lose you and I’m – I’m s-sorry I can’t love you the way everyone wants me to!”

“Oh, Chris!” Ashley gasped, pulling him forward. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her face into his shoulder.

They both felt warm drops of regret dot their collars.

When Ashley came away there was a mixture of emotions on her face. Chris could see relief, assurance, and a sense of freedom fall over her. And after having said his piece, Chris could empathize whole-heartedly.

“Thank you for saying what needed to be said, Chris.” She wiped away a stray tear from the corner of her shimmering blue eyes, hiccupping out a laugh. “I’m sorry too. I… After Josh’s belated birthday party I had to rethink a lot of things. I didn’t mean to avoid you for so long and even on the Mountain when I saw how much more important Josh was to you, I…” she shrugged. “I’m a jealous creature and it just… irked me. And I’m sorry I was so short with you most of the time up there…”

Chris rubbed comforting circles over her shoulders. “Nah, it’s okay, Ash. We all had fried nerves by the end of the night.” He smirked, thinking that Josh would be looking pretty smug if he knew that bros still came before ladies-that-are-special-to-you.

“I guess, but still. I’m sorry. I want to go back to being besties again. I miss hanging out with you.” She looked down, embarrassed that something so very middle school could happen when they were college students.

Chris beamed, scooping her up in his long arms. “I am so down to clown with that!”

Ashley laughed while flailing her legs gently. “One: no clowns, please-and-thank-you! And B: let’s go catch a movie on your next day off??”

“All of the above can definitely be arranged.”

 

**To: 0280652**

_Josh?_

_You would tell me if you didn’t want to talk to me anymore right?_

_Like, if you can’t stand me because of certain events in the last 2 years, I get it. But could you at least tell me to stop texting you so I can just… I dunno stop hoping?_

Chris honestly didn’t know what he was expecting. A text back would have been his bet, even if it was slim to none. He shouldn’t have said anything. Now Josh was going to think he was guilt-tripping him. Was he? Maybe he was – just a little bit… He hadn’t meant to though. Shit. He should just turn his phone off for the rest of the day and work on his coding project. Yeah, that would be –

His stomach dropped, absolutely panicked. The source came in the form of a ringtone, filling his apartment with the sound of shrill little beeps and chimes.

_Oh shit oh shit oh shit_

On his fluorescent screen read the most menacing words he’d seen in ages.

**Incoming Call**

_0280652_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed. I'll have another chapter of F&F up soon!  
> Thank you for reading!  
> Stay beautiful <3


	4. So Many Miles and So long Since I've Met You

Chris was forever grateful that he was in his apartment – _alone_ – because he didn’t need his friends holding the high-pitched scream he just made over him. They would have never let him live it down.

Should he answer it? He should answer it. Josh was _calling_ him. He should just swipe right and answer his fucking phone. But what if it wasn’t actually Josh? What if the old man had gotten a hold of his number somewhere and was pretending to be Josh?

 _Really, Fleiss?_ He chastised himself. _There’s no way something like that would happen. Where the hell’d you get this imagination?_ “…Josh.”

Basically from the first day they met, Josh had introduced him to the world of horror and suspense. There was no real surprise that it had rubbed off on him.

Silence filled the room once more and Chris realized he had missed his chance. He groaned, face-planting into the sofa. Why couldn’t he just have convictions like every other 22-year-old out there?

 _Train Song_ blared in his ear again and he was eternally glad his responding screech was muffled by the couch cushions.

**Incoming Call**

_0280652_

_Come on, Fleiss. Answer it answer it answer it–_

He swiped right, holding the receiver up to his ear with trembling fingers.

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. The pounding of his heart made everything hard to comprehend.

 _Shit._ Why was he so scared? Should he be scared? Why wasn’t the person on the line not saying anything?!

But then Chris heard his voice.

“Chris?”

He tried to swallow the lump of disbelief stuck in his throat. The action made a loud, very audible click. “J-Josh?” Fuck, he sounded so pitiful.

“Holy shit…”

“It… It’s you?”

The chuckle he heard, broken by the white noise through the phone and emotion, shot right through Chris’ heart. He grabbed at his chest, hoping the sharp pain would leave if he pressed hard enough. He couldn’t – There was no – Josh was actually and truly _ALIVE._

“Yeah, Cochise… it’s me.”

What words could fully express how Chris felt at that moment? Surely, there were none. If there were, nothing came to Chris’ mind.

And so they fell into silence.

“Listen, Chris…”

Chris sat up, giving his full attention to Josh. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

For what? There were a lot of things they could both be sorry for from the past few years. The list was too long to narrow down.

“There are some things I won’t apologize for – I feel I shouldn’t have to apologize for – I’m not ready to apologize for – but you… I’m so sorry I dragged you into shit you should’ve never been a part of.”

“Josh, I –”

“No, Chris. Let me finish. I don’t have a lot of time and I want to say this before I get a chance to pussy out of it… I think the moment I really snapped was when Hannah and Beth were… When they were declared – dead. I fell down a shitty, fucked-up hole and all I could think of was getting revenge on those bas— …for the prank those guys had pulled. There were so many times where I wanted to tell Sam – tell _you_ but – my sis… _they_ kept getting so angry with me and I… we couldn’t have you trying to stop us and it was all just – bad. It was just bad. All of it for all of you and I’m so sorry things ended the way they did but I can’t apologize for coming up with the plan… not yet.”

“Josh…”

“No, Cochise! I know exactly what you’re going to say and I don’t deserve any of it. But I’m… sorry. I just wanted you to know that. I’m still working a lot of my shit out and I’m trying but until I can finish this, it’s not ending.”

Chris hesitated, holding his breath for a moment to try and calm his slowly breaking heart. All of a sudden everything was just becoming too much. The lights were too bright. The static between them was too loud. The walls were too close. A past too recent to forget was trying to swallow him up again, and was just… too much.

“H-How long?” he asked. He hoped Josh could understand his vagueness. Because he wasn’t sure he was capable of conveying his thoughts properly at the moment.

“…I don’t know, Cochise…”

“Fuck,” he whispered. Josh had already said this before. It wasn’t new information and Chris had begrudgingly accepted this fact. It took a long time to heal, especially after what Josh had been through. Chris got that he needed time but that didn’t make reality hurt any less.

He pulled his legs close to his chest and buried his face in his bony knees. The position was awkward and was surely hurting his back, but it helped him feel safe and secure, and that’s really all that mattered at the moment.

The conversation had ebbed between them. Chris wasn’t sure how to fix this.

“Chris?”

He hummed a response. He couldn’t trust his voice to work like he wanted it to right now.

“Bro, are you crying?” Chris could hear a sliver of concern in Josh’s voice. But he swore that concern was covered up by contempt. It was like Josh was saying, since when do _you_ cry?

He pulled his face away from his knees and saw the two large wet spots on his jeans. “ _Fuck_ ,” he whispered again, so much harsher this time.

God, he was so stupid. Josh was right. Chris didn’t _cry_. This wasn’t something he did. He was supposed to be strong. He was supposed to be the support. If the support needed support, then what was the fucking point?! When had he become so weak that he couldn’t even handle a fucking phone call anymore?!

 “Chris?” Josh’s voice was more insistent this time.

He needed to stop. He shouldn’t be acting like this. He had a life that wouldn’t stop for him every time he had a breakdown. He needed to grow up and move past his shit.

He needed to hang up.

So he did.

The act of ending the call had been so simple – just the press of a button. But now it was over and he was filling to the brim with regret.

Why was he such a child? Since when was he incapable of handling a conversation with his best friend over the phone?

He should call Josh back, apologize for being such a baby about everything.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t make himself do it.

_Coward._

He jumped when calm vocals and the smooth thrum of guitar swelled through the room. _Train Song_ had always been Josh’s ringtone. It just fit him so well.

Chris ignored it. It took everything in him to do it, but he didn’t answer.

The apartment grew silent once more, but again, his phone came to life. It sounded so persistent, so desperate.

He should be doing his coding project. It was due in a couple of weeks.

He fell over onto his couch instead, curling himself up and telling himself that everything was going to be okay.

But everyone knew Chris was a shitty liar.

 

“You look like shit.”

Chris looked up from his monitor. “Thanks, Em.”

Chris never thought he’d see the day where Em would bring herself to the CS department. This was a rarity and probably not a fortunate one.

“What brings you to the slums, milady?” Chris asked, staunchly gluing his eyes back to his computer. He knew. Of course he knew what this was about. Em must have known that he knew.

“Bitch, you know better than to play this game with me.”

She knew.

“Where’s your phone?”

“I think I left it at home?”

“You think?”

“I left it at home.”

“Why?”

Chris couldn’t possibly begin to tell her what he’s been feeling. It didn’t even make sense to him. “I just… I don’t know, Em. I just haven’t wanted to use it lately.”

He dared a glance up at Emily and saw a strong, worried woman. Her perfectly manicured nails tapped at her hips. To others she probably looked annoyed, but Chris had known Em for so long that he could see past her stance and piercing gaze.

“When was the last time you ate?”

That was a good question.

“I think… maybe a few days?” He’d lost track of time after he turned off his phone.

“Come on, Chris. We’re going for lunch.” She made to tug him out of his chair, but he gently shook her off.

Chris shook his head, scooting back a bit with his rolley-chair. “I can’t. I’m so close to finishing this project early. If I can do that, then maybe I can try to… rest… or maybe mess with my phone or something…”

Emily watched him like a hawk for a moment. She was checking him over for lies and when she was satisfied, she nodded. “Okay. But I’m going to pick you up something from your coffee shop and then you’re having dinner with me and the girls tonight, so finish soon.” She started walking off but spun on her heels to tell him, “I’ll be back soon.”

There was no fighting Emily once she had made up her mind, so he simply nodded and waved bye to her as she stalked out of the department.

He ignored the surprised stares of his peers searing into his back.

His project officially had a deadline.

 

“One apple-cinnamon scone and a huge bottle of water, good sir!” Jess cheered. She placed the items on Chris’ desk proudly and trotted back to Em’s side.

“Oh, hey, Jess,” Chris replied, giving her a small smile as his thanks.

He watched the two ladies interact with each other and he truly couldn’t deny the twinge of jealousy that held tight in his stomach. He hadn’t seen the lights in their eyes shine that bright in a very long time.

They finished up their private conversation; their hands met, briefly and discreetly, but Chris just barely caught it. Jess started moving away, waving to him and Em.

“See you tonight, Chris!”

“Yep yep yep!” He waved back. When she was out of sight, he met Emily’s eyes. And just stared.

She made a face. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Get back to work, nerd. We’re meeting everyone at 6. And eat your scone. I managed to get a discount ‘cause I said it was for you.”

Chris chuckled, taking a bite of the pastry. It was soft, sweet, and still warm. His stomach protested slightly, but his taste buds were singing this things praises. Maybe it had been a while since food had been a thing.

“Yes, ma’am.”

 

“I did not fall off the face of the earth!”

Sam snorted. “You did.”

“You totally did,” Ashley backed her up.

“What happened to your phone?” Jess asked.

Before Chris could get a word in, Em replied for him. “Said he turned it off.”

The entire party gasped, causing a commotion for the little Chinese restaurant they were currently inhabiting. Chris let his forehead hit the faux-jade table, the plates and silverware clattered in response. A Chris who turned off his phone was a Chris who had no connection to anything in the world.

“Chris, what have you been doing for the past week?” Ashley asked, her worried eyes boring into him.

“My coding project! Oh my gosh, you guys, a poor soul just decides to turn off his phone to get some concentration and you act like he’s gone off the deep end!”

Emily pointed an accusatory finger at him. “You don’t ‘just decide’ to do anything, Chris. Something happens and then you have an internal freak out session until it eats you up inside.”

“And then you don’t talk to anyone for days.” Jess tacked on.

Sometimes Chris truly hated how well these girls knew him. It was almost like they knew him better than – no. Nope. Chris needed to cease that line of thought before he fell any harder than he already had.

“Gee, guys, wow.”

“We don’t mean anything by it, Chris,” Sam shushed every up, placing a hand over one of Chris’. “We’re just worried about you. We just want to make sure you’re doing okay.”

Chris saw the genuine worry in Sam’s eyes – in everyone’s eyes and for a moment he could understand exactly what Josh always felt when they gave him one-on-ones.

Chris couldn’t say he liked the feeling very much.

“Really, ladies, I’m fine. I was just going through a rough patch with this project and work, but thanks to Em I officially finished it three days early! Now I can sleep and chill with you guys when I don’t have shifts.” He gave them all a small smile and hated when it seemed like they were satisfied with his lie.

“Okay, Chris, but you really should rest,” Sam said, smiling back at him with just as much meekness.

Ashley nodded. “Yeah, Chris. It’s been how many days since you slept now?”

He looked over at Em because he couldn’t remember what he had told her while he had been coding.

“Five days.”

Jess’ neck nearly snapped with how fast it spun towards Chris. “What?! Chris –”

“I know, I know,” he quelled her with a soft voice, waving off the chiding he was about to get. “I promise, mom. I’m gonna go straight home and go to bed after we eat.”

Jess nodded curtly. But then a spark glinted in her blue eyes. “We should have a sleep over this weekend! All of us! Plus or minus two men – we’ll see – but we should totally just chill and watch something, maybe play some games!”

Ashley cooed in agreement. “Yeah, and we can go out and wander the town or the one over for the day!”

“I needed some new shirts anyway,” Em said. Her face was stoic but the excitement in her eyes betrayed her.

“What do you think, Chris? Could you get a day off from work?” Sam asked, “I think I could ask the shelter for Saturday off, no problem, but you basically run the coffee shop, right?”

She wasn’t wrong, Chris had been working there since freshmen year of high school. He knew the place inside and out, and on more than one occasion the owner had left him in charge. Actually, it was more on a daily basis now. So yeah, Sam definitely wasn’t wrong.

But Chris had grown wary of making plans too far in advance. He never knew how he was going to be feeling on a given day and having to cancel on friends because he was in a low would drive him even madder with guilt. Sam seemed to see it, but she was patient and let Chris work through it in his head.

“Sure… Yeah, I can probably manage to get the day off.”

Jess squealed with delight, clapping her beautifully manicured hands together. “Yay!! This is gonna be great!!” She began rattling on about what they were going to do on their outing – something about visiting the huge mall a couple of hours out so they could actually get some variety and just leave their little college town.

Chris wasn’t really paying attention but he watched Jess and the others intently. He was happy that they were happy and he was absolutely willing to be pulled from store to store by these lovely ladies.

He smiled, something small but absolutely genuine, and nibbled at his fried rice while he watched his best friends excitedly plan their weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! Wow, has it been a long time or what??  
> I hope everyone is doing well and continues to stick with me through this crazy adventure! (I'm thinkin' we might change it up a little bit next chapter :) )  
> Stay beautiful! <3


	5. Snow in Spring

It’d been a week and a half – eleven whole goddamned days and Josh still couldn’t get Chris to answer him. He’d tried everything that this shitty little basic phone could do but neither texts nor calls were getting replies. He couldn’t even tell if Chris had read the texts because of this ancient hunk of technology. Fuck, had Chris turned off his phone?

A sharp smack to the back of his head made him spin around in his little wooden chair. “Ow! What the f—”

“Get your head outta the clouds, boy!” The older man snapped. He kept walking, not even sparing Josh a glance. “Tonight’s a full moon, you know how it makes them antsy. Don’t need your brain filled with your paramour unless you want that pretty face of yours ripped off.”

“HE IS NOT MY – OW, FUCK!” Josh would give the old man, Victor, credit. He had good aim, and the jacket and boots tossed at him would definitely leave a bruise for a good long while. He grumbled under his breath while he laced up his boots, “I’m starting to regret telling Chris you were cool, old man.”

Victor harrumphed, sliding on his homemade flame thrower. Josh thought it had been wicked the first time he saw it, but lately all he can think of is how he and Chris used to make their own flamethrowers out of deodorant.

His heart twisted in his chest. He tried rubbing the pain away, making slow circles to relieve the ache, but it didn’t help.

  _Are these palpitations? Am I_ _dying?_

“You comin’ or not, boy?” The old man yanked the door open. A blast of cold air filled the room quickly, snowflakes danced in on the wind.

Josh nodded, wrapping himself tighter into so many layers of sweaters and jackets that he felt like Chris. “Yeah, let’s do this.”

They stepped out into the night, the harsh snow quick to cover their tracks.

 

Tonight ended up much the same as it had been for the past few months; they travelled to the old asylum, checked up on the already-captured wendigoes, and went off separately to set more traps along the mountain side.

Victor had been dead-set on not letting Josh go off on his own the first month, but he learned quickly that Josh Washington was going to do what Josh Washington wanted to do.

So here Josh was, trekking out towards his family’s old cabin with a rifle over his shoulder and a couple of flares attached to his hip. He didn’t like when Victor came out this way. Despite all the stuff the old man said about this not being his mountain, to Josh it still was. Victor hadn’t spent summers up here with family playing baseball in the front yard, he hadn’t played hide-and-seek with his sisters in the woods, he hadn’t texted his crush late at night while hiding under the covers.

 Until Josh finished what he was up here to do, this was by all means his mountain.

He cursed under his breath; spring had already come to this side of the world and yet the snow showed no signs of stopping. How had he and his family gotten so lucky to pick the one time the sun shined and the snow melted for their summer vacation every year?

_Too bad Chris is never gonna talk to me again… He would’ve loved summer here._

Josh kicked up some snow, frustrated with himself for the umpteenth time. But he couldn’t stay frustrated for long, not when the screeching and howls were picking up. He moved over to a tree and crouched amongst its shadows as the snapping of tree branches grew closer.

He forced himself to stay stock-still as a loud, high-pitched shriek sounded just above him. Snow fell from the branches in chunks as the tree groaned under the wendigo’s weight.

Josh knew that shriek anywhere.

_Hey, Han._

 

** Chat Name: Em and her bitches **

Em: _Is your phone on yet, Chris?_

Chris: _Yes, ma’am! Dear lord, I fall off the face of the Earth for a little while and you all lose it_

Chris: _What would you ever do w/o me?_

Jess: _Well clearly we wouldn’t be up2date on the latest memes_

Ash: _Our boi is back!!_

Chris: _eeeeeeyyyyyy_

Sam: _Good to see you got home, Chris! I think it’s time for everyone to get some sleep._

Jess: _Nighty night!_

Ash: _Okay, mom!_

Chris: _But mom I’m not tired!!!_

Em: _Night._

Sam: _Sweet dreams, my son. I will see you in the morning._

Chris: _< 3 <3 <3_

 

Josh sat quietly for over half an hour watching his sister leap through the treetops. Hannah was antsy tonight. She did this sometimes when she wasn’t feeling quite right. Josh liked to think that some his sister was really still in there; Hannah used to pace all the time when she was stressed over something.

The question was: what exactly was wendi-Han stressed over?

Josh had been taking note of when, what, and how much she was eating for weeks. Hannah liked eating rabbits the least and had a secret sweet-tooth for geese. It was definitely a little fucked up to keep track of things like that, but it helped Josh have an idea of where she might be during her nightly escapades.

The old man warned him on the daily about following Hannah around. “You let yourself get swept away, boy,” he’d always say. But Josh always replied with: “I have to do it.” Victor never denied him of that truth.

Lately, Hannah had been eating more. She didn’t differentiate much, as long as she was able to devour it. That alone was a red flag; Hannah has always been picky. Tonight, though, she hadn’t eaten anything yet. She just kept jumping from canopy to canopy, crying out every so often to wait for cries in return.

_Weird._

 

Chris gawked at the amount of unread texts he had. A lot were from the girls, either telling him about something he might have been interested in or wording their concern about his absence. But there was no denying the guilt that filled his stomach when he saw all of the missed calls and unread texts from Josh. Chris was Josh’s only link to life off the mountain and he had completely abandoned him; all because he couldn’t handle his own damn emotions.

With hesitant fingers, he swiped through them all. Each one adding more and more weight on his shoulders. The first fifteen or so were filled with apologies, _“Shit, Chris, I’m sorry” “I’m so sorry, please answer me Cochise”_ , but as the timestamps grew more recent, the messages became less erratic, more desperate, _“What did I do, just tell me and I’ll fix it, I swear” “I just want to know you’re okay”_.

He thumbed through each text slowly, some part of him still in awe that his best friend _wasn’t_ dead, that Josh was still on that mountain turning into a monster hunter. But it _was_ real. This was happening. He had hurt Josh without meaning to and he needed to fix this.

Chris tapped the message bubble and began typing.

 

Josh was creeping up on the two hour mark now. Thick, layered clothes could only do so much when you were seated up to your hips in snow. The cold was starting to seep through to his skin, his bones. He could tell he was shivering, but he had to know what was up with Hannah. Something was wrong and he wasn’t leaving until he figured out what it was.

Her screeching had picked up about fifteen minutes ago, chittering back and forth with a couple of other wendigoes while they all flitted through the canopies together. The other wendigoes were being a lot testier than Hannah, who was animatedly watching them from the sidelines. Every time one of them got near Han, the other one would scream and rush forward.

This continued for a long time, the other wendigoes getting rougher and rougher with each other until the smaller one finally skittered away in defeat. The bigger one screeched in victory and slinked up to Hannah slowly, chattering softly as if asking for permission.

Hannah purred in response, a noise Josh had never heard her make. But make it she did and when she turned around, letting the other wendigo mount her from behind, it finally dawned on Josh: Hannah was in heat.

“Ooooooh hell no.”

As quietly as he could, he bolted back to the outpost.

 

Josh nearly fell into the small wooden cabin when he burst in, out of breath and mind reeling.

“What the hell’s gotten into you, boy?” Victor grumbled from his spot by the fireplace.

“You – Wendi – they – THEY FUCK?!”

Victor took a long moment to watch Josh. He was still splayed on the floor, letting the snow melt into little puddles around him. He looked like an utter fool and if Victor was a weaker man, he’d have laughed at him. “Of course they do. All animals have mating cycles.”

“My sister is not an –” Josh stopped himself from raising his voice any further. Victor was right, in many ways. Hannah wasn’t Hannah any more, or at least would never be the little sister he remembered her as. “She’s… uuuuuggh!” He let his head fall onto the hardwood floor with a loud _thump_. “Why is this happening?!”

“It’s spring, isn’t it?”

Josh groaned.

The old man rolled his eyes, exasperated but nevertheless enjoying the excitement Josh had brought into his monotonous life. “Joshua, your phone made a noise while you were out.”

This had the young Washington jumping up from his puddle of woe.

“No way!” he gasped, “Nowaynowayholyshitnoway!”

The only person that had his number was –

**From: Cochise**

        _Hey Josh. I don’t really know what to say, other than I’m sorry for putting you through a ton of bullshit. I shouldn’t have done that to you you didn’t deserve that and it was all me being stupid and not dealing with shit in a good way and I’m so sorry Josh. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I swear…_

Josh sat on the floor. Reading and rereading this one text until his chest hurt. He had done so many fucked up things to his friends. It wasn’t supposed to go down like it did, and Chris was one of the last people he would ever want to hurt. But in the end, he had hurt Chris so badly that his best friends was starting to cope like he did.

_Fuck…_

“Are you gonna reply to him or not?”

Victor’s voice kept Josh from spiraling and not for the first time Josh was grateful to this old man for picking him up in the mines.

Josh smirked at the little LCD screen in his hand.

“I’ll do one better, old man!” said Josh, flipping Victor off with his free hand.

He typed in Chris’s number and pressed dial.

It rang and rang in his ear until he thought the anxiety in his stomach would eat him alive.

But nothing else mattered the moment he heard a hopeful “Josh?”

Relief like he had never felt before washed over him and he felt his heart flutter in his chest.

He smiled into the phone.

“Hey, Cochise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! I'm sorry I'm always throwing random chapters at you after being away for so long! I really hope you enjoyed said thrown chapter and pretty please tell me what you think! It's been a long semester, but THANK GOD FOR WINTER BREAK! So maybe I'll be productive and get another one out for you soon :)
> 
> As always: stay beautiful! <3


	6. Surprise!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! Something before we get into this new chapter!! I'm going back and changing my formatting a little bit!  
> Josh = **bold**  
>  Chris = _ underline + italics_

Chris woke up with the biggest smile on his face. He had slept the whole night through, had had no nightmares, and best of all: he got to talk with Josh until they were both close to passing out on each other.

On the whole, they talked about trivial things. Josh knows everything there is to know about being a CS major thanks to Chris now, and Chris learned that wendigoes have a mating season (“RIP, bro”). Chris knew that conversation had tried to stay light for as long as possible because Josh was scared of getting too deep. Josh needed time to tackle deep topics, Chris knew, and he was going to respect his best friend’s needs.

Josh didn’t ask how everyone was doing, and Chris didn’t try to push the subject on him. He knew Josh would ask in time. Not matter what had happened on the mountain, Josh really did care about his friends.

When Chris woke up in a good mood, he woke up productive, with an urge to get things done.

That morning he deep-cleaned his apartment, leaving no speck of dust behind. He did laundry and actually folded and put it up when it was dry. All-in-all, Chris was acting like a properly working human being and it kind of felt great.

To top off the productivity, he took a nice, hot shower to wash away the sweat from working. It felt nice to relax his muscles and reward himself, even if the tasks were things that every other Mary Sue and John Doe did on a regular basis. It was progress – sort of – and Chris was going to take the win.

After Chris got dried and dressed, he plopped down on his little sofa and pulled out his phone.

He shot off a quick “I’VE BEEN SO PRODUCTIVE LET’S GET LUNCH TO CELEBRATE” text to Ashley and decided he would also share the good news with Josh while he was at it.

 

_ Bro you’ll never believe how productive I was when I woke up this morning. Apt: deep-cleaned, laundry: done, fridge: emptied of all things putrid, trash: out of my life. I’m an adult! _

 

Ashley immediately replied in the positive, so they made plans to meet at a local taco joint in fifteen. Chris made sure he looked like a decent human being one last time before he dashed out of his apartment.

 

“Good to see you’re doing better, Chris,” Ashley said as she watched Chris stuff his face full of burrito. She meant it, too. Not even Jess was taking the Mountain Incident that badly and she was definitely the one that came out of it the worst. The Incident had changed Chris, made him doubt himself – everything, and it had been wearing him down, bit-by-bit.

But, a Chris with a healthy appetite was a Chris who was recovering. In his own way.

Ashley could admit that she liked Chris-hugs better when Chris had more meat on his bones.

Chris looked up at Ashley, silently reading between the lines. “Oh you know,” he said after swallowing, “Cleaning really builds up an appetite. We all know that within the week it’ll be back to the way it was though.” Chris knew better than to get his hopes up too much. This was a lull. It was much appreciated, but a lull nonetheless. He knew that all it would take is one little thing and he could go spiraling into whatever abyss his mind deemed fit again. This was just a nice intermission.

“Yeah, but you know if it gets worse, you’ve got friends that would help you clean up.”

Chris put down his burrito all together. He hadn’t meant to compare his mental well-being to the state of his apartment, but Ashley seemed to catch on to whatever his subconscious was spewing out of his mouth. “Thanks, Ash,” he sighed, “I feel like this is a good sign though, right? I mean, it’s something better than what it was, so… win?”

Ashley booped Chris with her foot. “Win.”

They continued eating in silence, Chris trying not to think about how just one little thing had the ability to make his mind break.

 

While they were out, they decided to meet up with the rest of the girls at the local mall. It was a fairly small building, filled with every store college students seemed to pine for.

On Chris’s part, he decided he’d keep quiet and let the girls drag him around to whatever shop or boutique they wanted. He was doing well to keep out of his mind, when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

 

**Good job, Cochise. Need some of that productivity here. It’s a rainy day so we’re staying in today. I’m. So. Bored.**

 

Chris chuckled, typing out a reply.

 

_ I figured wendigo hunters were like mailmen. Rain, sleet, or snow, you’re there to catch some creatures. _

 

Josh’s replies were immediate.

 

**LOL**

**Even Victor thought that was funny.**

**Nah, bro. If the grounds too wet, you’re too loud no matter what you do. Besides, no matter how cool it is, a flamethrower won’t do diddly when it’s wet.**

 

Chris laughed too. Josh always knew how to say exactly what needed to be said to tickle his funny bone. He was about to type out a reply when Em’s voice pierced through his thoughts.

“Who are you texting?” she asked.

“Huh? Oh, um, no one, really. Just a friend.”

“Just a friend?” Ashley piped up, “You’re hanging with your friends right now, who else could it be?”

“I mean, he’s – you know, a friend… that… you… don’t know? I have friends other than you guys.”

“Hardly,” Em stated.

Chris rolled his eyes, but before he could say anything, Jess spoke.

“Is it Mike? You’re getting awful defensive for it to just be a friend. And you two seem to be getting cozy lately.”

Chris nearly fainted then and there. What was it with everyone trying to pair him and Mike up together? They barely spoke outside of when the whole group was together. Just because they shared drinks or fell asleep on each other didn’t mean that they were meant to be in a relationship or anything. He’d cuddled with Matt before. He’d shared drinks with just about everyone in their group. He’d slept next to Josh plenty of times and was clear there wasn’t going to ever be anything between the two of them. Ever. So, no, it just didn’t make sense to Chris.

“Oh my gosh, no. Just no.”

“You really gotta do something about that soon then, Chris,” Sam warned as she looked through a shelf of variously coloured flannel. “Mike has puppy love written all over his face.”

“But why is that on me? I mean, I was definitely in puppy love with Josh and not one of you told him to come shoot down my one-sided feelings.”

When Chris looked at the girls, each one looked like they wanted to either slap Chris over the head or laugh. “What?”

Jess spoke up, “Okay, but you didn’t answer the question. Is it Mike?”

“No, it’s not Mike, Jess.”

It was more than a little unsettling when all four girls asked in unison, “Then who is it?”

“He’s… He’s a friend I met online, okay? It’s… Kind of a secret, so I can’t really say too much about him.”

“Oh my god, do you use Tinder, Chris?” Jess gasped, almost floored by just the idea.

Chris busted out laughing, “Oh god, no. He’s just from one of those roleplaying sites I go on. We started talking about plot development and just hit it off from there.”

“Nerds really can find their true loves, huh?” Ashley joked as she went to join Sam.

“I can’t believe you guys are my friends, how evil.”

All the girls giggled, seemingly satisfied with Chris’s answer to wander off to random parts of the shop. Chris sighed to himself, taking the stressful victory with a grain of salt. That had been close. He should probably be more careful about when and where he texted Josh from now on, but for today, he’d let it slide.

 

_ HOLY SHIT THE GIRLS JUST ASKED ME WHO I WAS TALKING TO AND ASAAAAAAAAHHASD YOU’RE STILL SAFE BUT BRO OMG THAT WAS FUCKIMNG SCARY _

**Lol glad my secret is still safe. Thanks, Cochise.**

_ Any time, Josh. _

**So…**

**How are the girls? Everyone?**

Chris thought for a moment. This topic of conversation could either go really good or really bad and there was no telling which way it’d go. He decided keeping it honest and light was the best way to go.

 

_ The girls are doing well. Sam is studying hard like always, Ash got a new lens for her camera the other day. Every time she gets a chance she brags about how she’s gonna take better pics than the others in her class. Aaaand I’m pretty sure Em and Jess are an item. And if they’re not now, they’re gonna be. _

**O_O Wow, didn’t see that one coming.**

_ I think I’m the only one that does. _

**Also didn’t know you had a gaydar, Cochise ;P**

_ Oh well you know, some special powers are best left a secret. Who knows what kind of evil I could do with such an incredible ability?! _

**Lol, rip to all those frat boys thinking they want to smash the sorority girls**

_ Speaking of gay frat boys _

_ Apparently _

_ Mike’s got a crush on me _

_  
_

Way to keep that under lock and key, Fleiss. But it did get that information out in the open, where he could discuss it with someone whose answer might be something other than “You need to deal with now, Chris” or “You should let him down easy before it goes too far, Chris”. Chris really wasn’t used to people having feelings for him and he had honestly just gotten past the idea that liking Josh was okay, even if he did nothing about it… because there was nothing to be done about it. Damn, the more he thought, the more he realized he was in the same boat as Mike but heading for a different destination.

As the seconds ticked and tocked into minutes, Chris was starting to think he fucked up in blurting that out to Josh. He figured his best line of defense at the moment was damage control.

 

_ Sorry that was probably a lot _

_ I just kind of wanted someone to talk to about it _

_ Since, I mean, you were the first one I told about Ash _

**Do you not like Ashley anymore?**

Ah, well that was definitely a warranted response. Last time they had seen each other, Josh was trying his damnedest to get him and Ash together for Chris’s sake.

 

_ Well, no. I mean I like her as a friend, but we’ve talked about a lot of things and ultimately we decided that we are better as friends. _

**Congrats on that.**

Chris really couldn’t understand why Josh got so salty whenever Ash was mentioned. They got along okay, and Josh had been in full support of hooking Chris and her up. It was just weird. He figured Josh had just been jealous, because it always meant they couldn’t hang if he was doing something with Ashley that day.

 

**Does that mean you’re into Mike now?**

_ Well, I mean, no. It’s just idk I never thought Mike had any type of inclination for any other direction than one. _

_ One meaning straight. _

_ Not like the band. _

**So you’re telling me that your gaydar is broken when it comes to you?**

_ I guess?! _

**Clearly.**

_ Dude, don’t just bash me, HELP! _

**You don’t want to date Ashley**

_ No _

**Do you want to date Mike?**

_ No _

**Do you like guys?**

_ Some times _

**Some times?**

_Ooooh, fuck_. Chris could actually lay down and die. Never would he have thought the day would come where he actually talked preferences with the guy (his _best friend_ ) that he liked. If anything, this was definitely something he had planned to take to his grave. Yet here he was, floundering because Josh’s quick typing and his slow reactions got mixed together.

 

_ I mean, it depends on the guy. Like, have you ever seen Chris Pratt? The man is a hunk in Jurassic World. _

**I’m being serious, Chris.**

_ I am too. The man is hot. _

**Cochise. Stop.**

_ Sorry… _

_ It’s just _

_ We’ve never talked about these kinds of things before and it just feels weird to do it now. _

**Some best friend that makes me.**

_ Just because we don’t talk about who we like doesn’t make you a bad best friend, Josh. It’s just… Complicated. _

**Why does it have to be?**

_ I don’t know… _

**:(**

_ Same _

A handful of minutes went by while Chris waited for any kind of reply. The girls had made their purchases and were about to drag him to another store when his phone buzzed again.

 

**Hey, Chris? Are you free right now?**

**There’s something I want to talk to you about.**

**Like actually talk to you about.**

_ No, not right now… The girls just dragged me to a store that has way too many smells for its own good. I’ll be free later tonight, though. Do you want me to call you when I get home? _

**I’d like that.**

_ Cool, bro. Talk to you then. _

**See you, Cochise.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hi there! It's been a very long time (almost a frickin' year) and I am so sorry about that. I'm going to try my best to update regularly (every other week or so) because you guys seem to really like this work and I want to keep you lovelies happy.
> 
> Until next time:  
> Stay beautiful!


	7. Close, But Not Enough

“Sure have been brooding for a while, boy.”

Josh staunchly ignored the old man.

“Did your paramour decide not to wait for you anymore?”

_Stay quiet, Washington._

“I’ll take that silence as confirmation. Much easier to fall out of love with someone when you can’t see them.”

“Victor, that’s not cool, man. I have literally never talked to you about any of my personal shit. Are you psychic or something?”

“Don’t be stupid,” Victor said, rolling his eyes. “Magic thing about old technology is that they aren’t protected by passwords.”

“YOU GO THROUGH MY TEXTS?!” Josh screeched.

“That phone is our only communication with the outside world, save from leaving the mountain. I use it to order supplies when you’re asleep… And if my hand slips to scroll through the vast amounts of messages you’ve sent to this boy, then so be it.”

Josh whined, tossing himself onto his pallet of blankets in the corner of their little cabin. “I can’t believe you, old man. I thought we were cool. But we are most certainly not… cool.”

Victor harrumphed from his spot by the fireplace. He adjusted some of the clothes that were hanging on a small rack nearby, making sure they dried as evenly as possible. “Joshua, I’m gonna impart some wisdom onto you: if you want something to happen, you gotta make it happen. Ain’t nothing good in this world come about by doing nothing. You ain’t a Washington anymore if you’re out here. Start acting like it.”

Wide-eyed with such stark honesty, Josh was struck with a bolt of courage. He sat up, fishing for the cell phone in his pocket. Without thinking, he sent a series of texts to Chris.

**Hey, Chris? Are you free right now?**

**There’s something I want to talk to you about.**

**Like actually talk to you about.**

Josh was surprised at how quickly Chris texted back.

 

_ No, not right now… The girls just dragged me to a store that has way too many smells for its own good. I’ll be free later tonight, though. Do you want me to call you when I get home? _

**I’d like that.**

_ Cool, bro. Talk to you then. _

**See you, Cochise.**

 

Josh swallowed the lump in his throat, looking at the phone in his hand like it was a ticking time bomb. Now at that was let to do was wait.

 

Chris had screwed himself over.

The day had been going smoothly, he was having fun hanging with the girls, watching them fawn over this or that while he waited in the side lines. But then one of them texted Matt and Mike to invite them out for dinner and drinks. Chris had tried to politely declined but found it impossible to say no to four women that were definitely much stronger than him. So he went along with them to some Outback Steakhouse knock-off where they met the boys and ate and drank to their hearts’ content.

Except for Chris and Sam. Sure, they ate their fill (because who could say no to Bloomin’ Onions?) but they passed on drinking, earning the both of them the title of DD for the night.

“So, Chris,” Jess blurted out over the rim of her margarita glass, “Tell us a little bit more about this sexy man you roleplay with!”

The girls all laughed, but Matt and Mike looked at him in surprise.

Chris’s face almost combusted.

“Wait, you’ve been roleplaying with someone?” Mike asked, his tone lower than it had been, almost like he was accusing Chris of something he didn’t do.

“Wait, wait, wait! Stop, stop! It’s nothing like what Jess is saying, I promise!” Chris tried to explain. “He is literally just a guy I met on a Star Wars roleplaying site. We DMd each other about how we were going to continue our story line and we just hit it off. If sharing memes and talking nerd stuff is sexy, then sure, I’m guilty!”

Ashley took an opportunity to reply. “So he… slid into your DMs?”

Chris groaned as everyone burst with laughter. “You guys’ll be the death of me…”

“You know we’re kidding, Chris, don’t worry about it,” Sam placated. Though it fell a little flat when she said it with a mouth full of salad.

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled, secretly glad as the conversation quickly turned to a new topic. He and Josh were still safe for now.

 

The gang ended up staying ‘til closing. They split up by proximity, Sam taking Jess, Matt, and Emily in her car while Chris took Mike and Ashley in Mike’s car.

The drive was quicker than expected, the time flying as Ashley and Mike sung drunkenly to the radio. They stopped at Ashley’s dorm first, a sober Chris leaving a drunk Mike in the car to make sure Ashley got to her room safely. When Chris returned he found Mike fast asleep in the passenger’s seat.

He smiled, making sure Mike was buckled in before he made his way off campus.

“Hey, Mike, time to wake up, buddy,” Chris whispered, shaking Mike’s shoulder gently.

Mike mumbled as he woke up, groaning as he held his head. “Fuuuck,” he whined.

“Come on, Mike. Let’s get you in and settled before your headache gets worse.” Chris chuckled, managing to hold Mike up with one arm as his other one fumbled with keys to get the apartment door open. They stumbled in and Chris was able to get Mike standing long enough to get Advil and a glass of water in him before he helped him to his bed.

Mike flopped onto it with no amount of grace and Chris laughed. It was funny to see Mike, a man who prided himself in his appearance and mannerisms, act like such a goof.

He made to leave when Mike held onto the hem of his shirt.

Chris was sure that what Mike wanted to say was, “Okay, sure, Chris. Please make yourself at home,” but it came out in a jumble of gargles.

Chris almost snorted. “’Kay, I’ll be on your couch if you need me.”

He laid down on the couch quietly with a sigh. He should have gone home, but the idea of going out so late when it was still cold out made Chris snuggle deeper into all of his layers.

As he pulled out his phone to check his Facebook, horror dawned on him

He had forgotten about Josh.

In a flurry of finger taps he was checking to see if he had any new texts, any new calls from Josh on his phone. Nothing. He hadn’t meant to forget about him, really. The day had quickly turned to evening and it just slipped away from him.

That didn’t change the fact that he felt like a piece of shit anyway.

He typed a quick apology message to Josh, hoping his best friend wouldn’t be too mad at him.

 

_ I’m so sorry I didn’t call or message you earlier the girls invited M&M to dinner and time just completely got away from me… _

__

He got a reply immediately.

 

**No prob, Cochise. It happens. Was it the knock-off Outback?**

Thank god that Josh seemed to be okay with it.

 

_ Yep yep! Bloomin’ onions galore! _

**Fuck I miss those things.**

_ The moment you come back to me I’ll treat you to however many you want! _

 

Chris brain immediately screamed at him the moment he pressed send. On what planet was ‘come back to me’ any sort of platonic, hetero thing to say?! He hoped that Josh would come through and ignore his wording.

 

**I’ll come back to you as soon as I can, Chris. Promise.**

 

Fleiss didn’t have time to react before another text came through.

 

**I know it’s late but would you be able to talk right now? There’s still something I really want to talk to you about.**

_ Yeah, I think it’d be okay. Mike’s probably too drunk to wake up now. _

**Oh.**

**Nvm then. We can talk later. You should go to bed, Cochise, it’s late.**

_ What? _

Nite

 

Chris’ emotions unfolded in layers. First, he had been psyched to get to hear Josh’s voice, then an immediate wave of ‘oh-shit-what-did-I-do-wrong’ hit him when he read Josh’s “Oh”. Next was the ‘wait-what-is-happening-why-is-Josh-upset’, immediately followed by a desperation to make whatever was wrong right in Josh’s eyes.

He didn’t even hesitate before tapping the dial button.

The phone rang once, twice, five times without Josh picking up.

Chris hung up and tried again.

And again.

After the fourth time of calling with no answer, Chris resorted to texting to at least make sure Josh knew that nothing was wrong.

 

_ Josh, I’m sorry, did I do something? _

_ Is it Mike? Oh god, it is, isn’t it? _

_ Remember when I said I didn’t like him like that? I meant it. I’m not at his house trying to get in his pants or take advantage of him while he’s drunk. It’s nothing like that. _

_ I’m just here, taking care of a drunk friend. _

 

Ten stressful minutes passed by like molasses. He fumbled with his phone, clicking the lock button every time his screen went dark in hopes of seeing exactly when Josh would text back. Just before he was thinking of tossing his phone aside in frustration, the piece of technology vibrated against his palm.

He hated how quickly, how desperately he unlocked his phone to read the message.

 

**I’m sorry, Cochise. I know it’s not like that, I know. I’m sorry I get so mad whenever you talk about your crushes. I was a piece of shit when you were into Ashley and I’m being a piece of shit now that I know Mike has a thing for you. I really am a petty best friend lol**

_ I won’t lie, you can totally be petty but I get it, Josh. I always felt the same way whenever you went out with girls in high school. I was jealous. I wanted all of your time to be for me. And I know for a fact that there were times that I was a petty bitch, so it’s not like I’m not in the same boat as you. _

_ Just… talk to me, okay? We were literally both upset that we aren’t honest and we don’t talk to each other like we should, so let’s fix that. _

_ Talk to me, Josh. You wanted to talk and I want nothing more than to hear everything you’ve got to say. _

 

Chris sent those messages before he could really think too much about the contents. His fingers and his mind had worked together succinctly and before Chris could think about how his words might turn the conversation towards something neither of them could come back from, it was too late.

 

**We’ll talk, Cochise. I promise we’ll talk. But I need to think about how I wanna say what I wanna say. I’m scared that if I saw it the wrong way everything will turn out fucked. So, for now, I’m gonna go hunt with Victor and I’ll talk to you later, okay?**

 

He could feel Josh trying to distance himself again. Like he always did.

Like they both did.

He hated how badly the disappointment was tearing at his heart.

 

_ Okay, Josh. Be safe. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is a long time coming T.T I hope it's a relatively good chapter and I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Stay beautiful. <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends!  
> This is my first posted Until Dawn entry and wow I'm more anxious than I thought I'd be. It's been a long time since I've written anything I considered okay enough to put on AO3 so yay for me.  
> I would really love to know what you all think of this. Or just talk to me about Until Dawn or anything Rami Malek has been in because damn that man is awesome!  
> Stay beautiful <3


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